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03-Feb-2018 06:24

First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.

Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.

You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Instead of cutting off the conversation, you can say, “I know you want my answer to be different, but it will not change”.

You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.

It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.

Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.If a child is coloring the grass purple, it is easy to tell them it must be green.



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